Still hooked. Think you could do more regarding the cell phone. How did it end up on the floor? He just dropped it? I think he'd likely have tried text someone (Dylan?) as soon as he became uneasy and then Flynt would have to remove it from him forcibly.
edit: scratch the above. I see it's critical to subsequent plotline :)
I’m still interested in what happens to Peterson. If you’re not killing him sometime soon you could add something making him even more likable, which would make the reader even more interested in his situation.
Still hooked. Think you could do more regarding the cell phone. How did it end up on the floor? He just dropped it? I think he'd likely have tried text someone (Dylan?) as soon as he became uneasy and then Flynt would have to remove it from him forcibly.
edit: scratch the above. I see it's critical to subsequent plotline :)
Excellent opening scenes!
I’m still interested in what happens to Peterson. If you’re not killing him sometime soon you could add something making him even more likable, which would make the reader even more interested in his situation.
Way2Go //Peter
There are 73 chapters to this thing. Hang in there.